Olivia Wilde, Addison Rae's mom and the sexist conversations about relationship age gaps - Video

It wasn't until Olivia Wilde started dating Harry Styles that she faced our culture's wrath. The 38-year-old "Don't Worry Darling" director became reduced to a "thirsty cougar" or "predator," while Styles, 28, remained relatively unscathed from the backlash. The public outcry towards the pair was so pervasive that it prompted both stars to speak out against the "cruelty." This one-sided reaction, experts say, likely isn't due to the age difference (Wilde and her former fiancée Jason Sudeikis, eight years her senior, have a similar age gap to she and Styles). It's who is leading the age gap. Harry Styles, left, has been romantically linked to Olivia Wilde, right, since January 2021 after the two were photographed by paparazzi several times kissing and holding hands. Wilde directed the musician in the upcoming film "Don't Worry, Darling," out Sept. 23. Tabloids crowned Demi Moore the queen of "toyboys" after her 6-year marriage to Ashton Kutcher. More recently, TikTok star Addison Rae's mother, Sheri Nicole Easterling, 43, received misogynistic hate after her red carpet debut with 26-year-old rapper, Yung Gravy. Ultimately, it's the women who bear the brunt of the criticism in these heterosexual, age-gap romances (as depicted by the derogatory label "cougar," painting older women as wild animals on the prowl). In contrast, Leonardo DiCaprio and Scott Disick publicly exhibited a pattern of dating young, sometimes teenage, women, and were only called out in recent months. Leonardo DiCaprio's breakup,: Demi Lovato's '29' and criticism around relationship age gaps Yung Gravy, 26, turned heads when revealing his date to the 2022 MTV VMAs, Addison Rae's mother Sheri Easterling. "It's women who always bear that social attack and backlash," says Janet Morrison, a certified sex and relationship coach. "Whether it's older or younger— she wants the sugar daddy and the money. Or if it's a woman dating a younger man, it's all about the sex. She's 'preying' on someone because she can't get someone her own age." Part of this mistreatment may stem from unfamiliarity, Morrison acknowledges. Despite the prevalence of women-led age gap relationships in Hollywood (Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa, Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas, Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson), this dynamic is relatively uncommon. In most cases, however, it's a classic example of the way we disparage women for their choices, especially when they don't align with what we view as "traditional." 'Don't Worry Darling' review: At least Florence Pugh sparkles in buzzy but flat retro thriller 'Don't Worry Darling': The drama surrounding Harry Styles, Florence Pugh and Olivia Wilde, explained Olivia Wilde, Demi Moore, and our problem with older, powerful women The media tend to portray age-gap romances in a one-dimensional manner: the older man, wealthy and stable, has the power —socially, financially and even sexually— while his attractive, young, dependent "trophy wife" offers one thing: beauty. We're culturally reluctant to accept the reverse: an older woman, or even a mother, pursuing a younger man, because it conflicts with our gendered, sexist norms of who should be "in control." "If the woman is much older, people make assumptions like, 'Does she wear the pants? What does this mean about her need to be in charge or her huge sexual appetite'"— judgements that sociologist and sex coach Jenn Gunsaullus says are normalized when applied to men. "When you put older women in that same position, people don't know what to do. It doesn't match their expectations, so they judge and stigmatize it." Demi Moore became the muse of numerous tabloids in the early 2000s when dating Ashton Kutcher. She is 15 years older than him. It's why sexist terms like "cougar"— with no male equivalent— are weaponized to shame older women in these relationships. According to Sarah Hill, an award-winning psychologist specializing in women, health and sexual psychology, this public discourse is also yet another example of suppressing female sexuality. In any age-gap relationship, Hill says, it's assumed the older partner expects short-term sex with a young, desirable partner (a stereotype she refutes as false). However, "these are behaviors we've culturally allowed men to pursue, where it's totally OK for them to want a quick fling with someone for sexual chemistry, while it's more taboo for women to have short-term sexual relationships." More on slut-shaming: Monica Lewinsky has been mocked in Beyoncé, Eminem lyrics. Is it time for us to apologize? From 'sexual' to 'sexless': The double standard of aging f